Wednesday, 29 November 2017
Dear Lord Jesus,
I am so lost and I don't know which way to turn to except towards You.
JH and I started to date since 01 November, it was a truly a "dream comes true" night for me, but he withdrew from this relationship in less than 2 weeks time.
"Not suitable", "I prefer to be single" was the reason he gave to end this relationship. I am not sure whats the base of this conclusion. But Lord, I need a proper closure, be it to end or to start all over again.
I love him, Lord, You know I do. Despite of our age gap, and different faith we shared. I am willing to be courage and fight for him, if there is a need to fight.
And thank You Lord for fixing a date for us to meet and talk.
So, I pray Lord, for Your direction for me.
I love him and I would be lying to say I don't want him back. Yes Lord, I want him back, but I know if it's not from You, there will be no blessing for me in this relationship.
Lord, You love me and surely You will bless me with my heart desires.
I pray, Lord, You give me wisdom when we meet and talk on this Sunday, that I will only ask questions at the right time, and I will know when to be strong and weak at the right time, and I pray we both will still find favor with each other, and he will ask for a second chance, and I will be able to accept him back without holding on any grudges.
Lord, be it his friends or family that had been sharing bad idea of him dating with me, I pray they will change their mind and be more open-minded in this area of our age gap.
Lord, soften his stubbornness and his pride, surround him with those who offer loving advice and dear Lord, reunite us. Give us a chance to continue on the journey that we started. Take away his temptations, take away ill-advises, fill his heart with the goodness of what once was. Lord, in you I trust.
If it was him who suddenly lose his faith and sight in our relationship, not knowing how to continue this journey together, I pray that Lord, You help him to see the goodness of me and reminds him on how happy we were together, restores his faith in me and be courage enough to start again and walk this journey together with me, hand in hand.
If he does not feel the love for me anymore, I pray that Lord, You restore the love he has for me and make it a deeper and stronger feeling for him. I pray that You take away the doubts or uncertainties in his heart and mind and lead him back to me again.
But Lord, if he has not love me at all, then I pray for a good and proper closure to end this relationship, and we can be friend again, just like what we used to be, closed friend, and co-worker.
Lord, I pray for a second chance for us. I am willing to give our relationship a second chance, to work things out in a better and more mature way. Reunite us, Lord, I pray.
And I pray for salvation for JH. Thy will be done, Lord!
All this in Jesus' most precious name. Amen! Amen!
Wednesday, 9 August 2017
Heard this song from an album playlist on Spotify just now while walking home from MRT, had a strong feeling about the lyrics of the chorus... what if I never give up, will there be a change?
But God is good, as I am typing and asking myself all the "what if" question, the Holy Spirit reminded me on my favourite bible verse.
He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecclesiastes 3:11How lovely is this reminder... Thank You ABBA!
There is no what if, only surely, in God's promises for me, His beloved. Hallelujah!!!
Oh how beautiful Your love for me
Oh how wonderful Your grace unending
How beautiful and wonderful His love and grace for me, and it's never ending... ♥
Wednesday, 12 July 2017
Sunday, 9 July 2017
Finally, sissie has opened her heart to attend NCC with me today! No words can describe my feeling, but I am so thankful for today! Towards the end of today's service, I leaned over and rest my head on her shoulder and hugged her from the side and my tears just couldn't stop... Like a dream comes true... Thank You Jesus!
And sissie has returned to Singapore since end of June.
We attended 4th service with Juan How, after we both ended work at 3pm, or rather, after he waited for me until 3pm, then we both went to Buona Vista to wait for sissie...
Had some light bites from Kitchen by Kuofu before the service starts at 5.30pm, and took some pictures as that's what sissie likes to do.
|Sissie and I|
|and Mr Juan|
And.. tada!!! We are in church!!! seated at my favourite seats.... have not seen KC for a very long time... just a thought... haha!
|Kingdom sisterhood and new brother, amen?|
Today's message was a playback message from Pastors Prince current preaching engagement at Megafest 2017 - Woman Thou Art Loose, one of the best sermons pastor has preached in the recent year, they claimed. I think pastor has many more great sermons, but this one is surely one of the best evangelical message, he preached on John 12, the woman caught in adultery, the first message i heard from him, in 2011. And pastor sang too, the old hymn -There Is A Fountain Filled With Blood. Just like the first time when I attended New Creation Church. Perhas, God wants to remind me of my first love with Him again. Thank You Lord, I love, because You have first loved me.
Then, we went for dinner, as sissie was here on a mission to find a job, and I don't want her to be pressured with the foods I like to eat, we decided to go eat cheap local food, and as JH said we will be having nasi lemak from QiJi on coming Tuesday, we decided to dine at Encik Tan. It was a wrong choice, the food was awfully awful! I am sorry, but it was really bad. Thank God the companion was good!
|us, when Mr Juan was away to take our drinks|
|the happy faces before tuck in, and Mr Juan did not say grace for us...|
But, God is good as we decided to go for dessert at Cedele! And thanks JH for treating us the super good dessert!
|Red Velvet for 3|
|The happy faces|
And the night ended with so much fun laughter. We had great conversation in learning tagalog from sissie, and we talked about serious topic like borrowing money to a friend, and JH happened to have the same opinion like what pastor shared, that is not to expect to get the money back.
As we went to the MRT station to depart our ways, sissie gave JH a hug, which I thank God for such divine arrangement, as he has recently lost his beloved grandma, whom is closed to him, and he told me he cried the night before while watching the last episode of 花甲男孩转大人. I thought of giving him a hug but there was no chance and I was too shy to do that, that reminds me of hugging Frankie on the night he sent me home.. well, I drank too much and had more than enough courage that night.. well, so, I told sissie to give him a hug and thank God she did and I am happy that God used sissie to do this for me. I hope that somehow ease the bitterness and sadness he has right now.
I lost my maternal grandma in year 2009, and that year, I was being invited to church by Fred C. and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. I hope, Lord, Your presence gave JH the same peace, and open his eyes, ears and heart to you, in no time. Amen. And I lost my beloved earthly daddy in year 2014 and paternal grandma in 2016, I can relate to his feeling, somehow. A hug is the best medicine to me, I hope it helps him too.
As Lord, I pray for sissie, Lord, You love her and You will prosper her way in Singapore. Amen!
Friday, 20 January 2017
The words and promises of The Lord are pure words, like silver refined in an earthen furnace, purified seven times over. ~ Psalm 12:6, AMP
I am currently on a journey to nowhere, and I can't say that I have been praying earnestly, in fact, I didn't.
But God, our ever faithful Daddy God, so loving, so patience and so faithful, my everlasting Father in heaven. He just won't let me live a life this way, and I am constantly being reminded by friends, and the Holy Spirit, to go back to His words.
The flesh are weak, but the Spirit are alive, and I am making my way back to God's words. I started my daily devotion reading, listening to Pastor Prince's sermon on my iPhone 6, praise & worship songs and musics.
I am not trying to be holy again, I am trying to be happy again, and only Him can bring true happiness to me. This, I am truly thankful for. Hallelujah!
Wednesday, 11 January 2017
First movie for 2017, a great one I must say. Thanks to M1, and Tina for the free ticket, though watching it with a colleague that I don't think I will wanna watch movie with him alone again, but at least he is not those chatty type that will keep talking during the movie. Haha!
The movie, is based on the real event, the Boston Marathon 2013. The bomb that killed 3 and injured many when the yearly marathon was ongoing and with thousands of viewers on the street, including kids and babies.
I didn't follow the news when this incident happened, I just knew it was a big tragedy and a very sad one. So, when I watched the movie, I was astounded and touched in the end, and tears just couldn't help to flow out from my eyes.
I am so impressed to see when the people are so strong in helping each other in such time, and to want to stop the bombers from doing further harm again, how far they can go, and how it proves that love always wins. Love always win...
The casting was nice, the actors do resemble most of the people in real life and even the t-shirt that young boy (bomber) were wearing when he was arrested, such details just complemented the movie nicely.
I am thankful that this movie is the first movie for my 2017, it's a good one and I am looking forward to watch more movie this year, the type that will always inspired me in the good way.