Farewell 2019!

Bade our goodbye to 2019 and welcoming the year 2020. While I was browsing the gallery in my phone, I realised that 2019 has been a year full of His grace and restoration for me. 

1. I had been completely healed from Bell's Palsy in January 2019. My left face was completely numb and stiff on a morning in December 2018, all sorts of negative thoughts are queuing up to attack me but God is good, no matter what negative thoughts Mr SA TAN tried to put in my mind, I am able to defeat the enemy by His words and thru partaking Holy Communion 3 times a day. Lo and behold, I was healed even without me noticing. Thank God for His unending love for me. A restoration of health indeed, physically, spiritually and mentally. 

2. I wanted to see and feel snow during my stay in Beaconsfield, and 2 days before my flight, He gave me a 3 hours of snowing and yes, let it snow!!! Truly a magical moment when it was snowing, the world became so silent as if I was the only one walking out there. Precious experience. Thank You Lord!

我慢慢的聽雪落下的聲音。😉

3. So thankful for my beloved sister and her husband and my 2 lovely 寶貝 for their warm hospitality during my 8 months stay in UK. It was very fun and a different life experience that I gained. Praise Jesus!

4. Back in Malaysia, my home country, which I have not been living for more than 10 years, I was like a tourist during the 1st 2 months. Mom, sis and her family has been very kind and patience with me. Can't thank them enough.

5. My dearest companion during my stay in M1 - Ms CCY! Thank you for continue to be my friend and closest companion too after I came back from UK. You don't know how much I love you, do you?

6. 1st trip back to Sg after a year, and this time I entered this land as a tourist, met with many important family and friends, so thankful for all of them who made their time for me.

7. 2019, touring with Carol to Taiwan, one of my favourite place on earth. Its my 3rd time visiting this country, and 1st time doing with a friend, and slept on bunk bed, met bed bug for the 1st time, acting almost like a backpacker, except we have huge luggages for all our 戰利品。😅 Thanks Carol for being an awesome planner for our trip!

8. 2019 is also a year where I get to spend more time with the lovely ladies in our family. We tried our best to make time to meet up for birthday celebrations, and spent quality with each other.

9. 2019, also was a year I get to reconcile my friendship with many of my friends. The Lord has opened our heart to each other, we talked things out and able to understand each other in a better way, and to strengthen our friendship. I am looking forward to more quality and quantity time to spend with you girls in 2020!

10. There was 2 weddings in 2019 that happened around me. 1st one will definitely be the wedding of my sissie and her Mr B! I really hope I can visit you in Nebraska, one day! 2nd one will be the wedding of Wai Yee and Martin, it was such a fun time and we really do admire this lovely couple. 

11. WWJD, my lovely family in Christ, has made a 2 days 1 night trip to KL for me, so honoured and loved. And we finally had our 1st full attendance gathering in November 2019 as Sam was back for family and friend visit. The last full attendance was in April 2018. Truly a precious moment for me! Thank You Jesus for being in the midst of our friendship. I pray that each and everyone of us will continue to prosper our way with Your unmerited favour in our life.

12. Last but not least, a new career that I embarked on October 2019. After not being in the corporate world for more than a year, I do feel nervous yet excited for this new journey. Thank God for placing all the lovely people around me. Thanks to all my MY, HK & SG bosses, leaders, colleagues for your guidance and supports.

Let's start 2020 with a heart full of thankfulness and hope, a confidence expectation of GOOD. 

I know who goes before me, i know who stands behind

The God of angel armies is always by my side! 

#NewYear2020

#thanksgiving

#GodisGoodAllTheTime

Worship: King of Heaven 天堂君王

One of my favourite songs for worship...

King of Heaven 天堂君王

Words and music by Karen Lim

Copyright 2006 New Creation Church Singapore

Who is there like You, Lord? 

Clothed in strength and beauty

Marvelous, so wonderful in deeds

You who calmed the tempest

You who made the blind see

Mighty is Your hand to deliver me

King of heaven

Exalted above all

My Victory, my Song

Great in majesty and glory

King of heaven

You're worthy to be praised

All honour to Your name

Jesus reigns forevermore

谁能与您相比 全能全然美丽
何等 绝妙 作为也神奇

您使风平浪静 您开启蒙蔽眼睛
您大能的手救赎我生命

天堂君王 至高至上的主
我的胜利凯歌 尊贵与荣耀全属您

天堂君王 配得至高赞美

荣耀归于您名
耶稣 永远的君王

Elf's: 半情歌

花 接受凋零 风 接受追寻

心的伤还有一些 不要紧

我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧 唱什么歌哄他开心

我想着天空什么时候会放晴

地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天 有多快乐 不是我的

(我的明天 快不快乐 都是我的)

我们的爱是唱一半的歌

时间把习惯换了 伤口愈合

也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福 一半甜的 一半苦的

像我手中冷掉的可可

最最教人残念的总是未完成的

我只能唱着 一半的歌

(另一半的歌)

心情的写照， 也是给自己的reminder... 

一直跟自己在过不去， 还想着他， 念着他， 惦着他。
因为我一直认为他一定是很爱我的。 

但是，今天，我终于问了自己这个问题，或许，他并没有我想象中的那么爱我。
可能，那晚， 他只是一时冲动，病昏了头，才会牵了我的手。

疗愈，待续。。。

Elf: Prayer for fixing the broken relationship

Dear Lord Jesus,

I am so lost and I don't know which way to turn to except towards You. 

JH and I started to date since 01 November, it was a truly a "dream comes true" night for me, but he withdrew from this relationship in less than 2 weeks time. 

"Not suitable", "I prefer to be single" was the reason he gave to end this relationship. I am not sure whats the base of this conclusion. But Lord, I need a proper closure, be it to end or to start all over again. 

I love him, Lord, You know I do. Despite of our age gap, and different faith we shared. I am willing to be courage and fight for him, if there is a need to fight. 

And thank You Lord for fixing a date for us to meet and talk. 

So, I pray Lord, for Your direction for me. 

I love him and I would be lying to say I don't want him back. Yes Lord, I want him back, but I know if it's not from You, there will be no blessing for me in this relationship. 

Lord, You love me and surely You will bless me with my heart desires. 

I pray, Lord, You give me wisdom when we meet and talk on this Sunday, that I will only ask questions at the right time, and I will know when to be strong and weak at the right time, and I pray we both will still find favor with each other, and he will ask for a second chance, and I will be able to accept him back without holding on any grudges. 

Lord, be it his friends or family that had been sharing bad idea of him dating with me, I pray they will change their mind and be more open-minded in this area of our age gap. 

Lord, soften his stubbornness and his pride, surround him with those who offer loving advice and dear Lord, reunite us. Give us a chance to continue on the journey that we started. Take away his temptations, take away ill-advises, fill his heart with the goodness of what once was. Lord, in you I trust.

If it was him who suddenly lose his faith and sight in our relationship, not knowing how to continue this journey together, I pray that Lord, You help him to see the goodness of me and reminds him on how happy we were together, restores his faith in me and be courage enough to start again and walk this journey together with me, hand in hand. 

If he does not feel the love for me anymore, I pray that Lord, You restore the love he has for me and make it a deeper and stronger feeling for him. I pray that You take away the doubts or uncertainties in his heart and mind and lead him back to me again.

But Lord, if he has not love me at all, then I pray for a good and proper closure to end this relationship, and we can be friend again, just like what we used to be,  closed friend, and co-worker. 

Lord, I pray for a second chance for us. I am willing to give our relationship a second chance, to work things out in a better and more mature way. Reunite us, Lord, I pray. 

And I pray for salvation for JH. Thy will be done, Lord! 

All this in Jesus' most precious name. Amen! Amen!

Elf's: Feeling vs Reality

有时候， 有时候

我会相信一切有尽头

相聚，离开，都有时候

没有什么会永垂不朽

可是我，有时候

宁愿选择留恋，不放手

等到风景都看透

也许你会陪我看细水长流

Heard this song from an album playlist on Spotify just now while walking home from MRT, had a strong feeling about the lyrics of the chorus... what if I never give up, will there be a change?

But God is good, as I am typing and asking myself all the "what if" question, the Holy Spirit reminded me on my favourite bible verse.

He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecclesiastes 3:11

How lovely is this reminder... Thank You ABBA!

There is no what if, only surely, in God's promises for me, His beloved. Hallelujah!!!

Oh how beautiful Your love for me

Oh how wonderful Your grace unending

How beautiful and wonderful His love and grace for me, and it's never ending... ♥

Song: 印记 - 谭嘉仪

作词：谭嘉仪
作曲：谭嘉仪／谭耀伦
编曲：Cousin Fung

从前和你 详谈人生的哲理
这夜怎么说起 祝福两报喜

儿时和你 流连忘返的嬉戏
挂念那种趣味 请不要忘记

看见你已找到他 愿这遍爱逐渐发芽
每碰到厌倦困局 亦不要害怕
来面对时 紧紧捉紧他

＊求缘份来到 便执手可到老
或艰辛的旅途再辛劳 亦深知不会再有更好
留起 那花瓣常陪你
遇患难或有天生气
亦锁紧这个爱的 印记

茫茫人里 如何能跟他一对
这是上天注定 相拥再说声

成为情侣 长情如他的爱侣
你没什么畏惧 只管爱里沈醉

*求缘份来到 幸褔不止到老
永不息的爱慕 旁人也深深感觉到他的好
如今 让浪漫情内渗
渐望着两背影走近
愿祝福拥抱爱的情人

祝福拥抱爱的情人

Elf's: Attending NCC with sissie for the first time

Yes! It's an answered prayer! Thank You Lord!

Finally, sissie has opened her heart to attend NCC with me today! No words can describe my feeling, but I am so thankful for today! Towards the end of today's service, I leaned over and rest my head on her shoulder and hugged her from the side and my tears just couldn't stop... Like a dream comes true... Thank You Jesus!

And sissie has returned to Singapore since end of June.

We attended 4th service with Juan How, after we both ended work at 3pm, or rather, after he waited for me until 3pm, then we both went to Buona Vista to wait for sissie...

Had some light bites from Kitchen by Kuofu before the service starts at 5.30pm, and took some pictures as that's what sissie likes to do.

Sissie and I

and Mr Juan

And.. tada!!! We are in church!!! seated at my favourite seats.... have not seen KC for a very long time... just a thought... haha!

Kingdom sisterhood and new brother, amen? 

Today's message was a playback message from Pastors Prince current preaching engagement at Megafest 2017 - Woman Thou Art Loose, one of the best sermons pastor has preached in the recent year, they claimed. I think pastor has many more great sermons, but this one is surely one of the best evangelical message, he preached on John 12, the woman caught in adultery, the first message i heard from him, in 2011. And pastor sang too,  the old hymn -There Is A Fountain Filled With Blood. Just like the first time when I attended New Creation Church. Perhas, God wants to remind me of my first love with Him again. Thank You Lord, I love, because You have first loved me.

Then, we went for dinner, as sissie was here on a mission to find a job, and I don't want her to be pressured with the foods I like to eat, we decided to go eat cheap local food, and as JH said we will be having nasi lemak from QiJi on coming Tuesday, we decided to dine at Encik Tan. It was a wrong choice, the food was awfully awful! I am sorry, but it was really bad. Thank God the companion was good!

us, when Mr Juan was away to take our drinks

the happy faces before tuck in, and Mr Juan did not say grace for us... 

But, God is good as we decided to go for dessert at Cedele! And thanks JH for treating us the super good dessert! 

Red Velvet for 3

The happy faces

And the night ended with so much fun laughter. We had great conversation in learning tagalog from sissie, and we talked about serious topic like borrowing money to a friend, and JH happened to have the same opinion like what pastor shared, that is not to expect to get the money back. 

The Star

As we went to the MRT station to depart our ways, sissie gave JH a hug, which I thank God for such divine arrangement, as he has recently lost his beloved grandma, whom is closed to him, and he told me he cried the night before while watching the last episode of 花甲男孩转大人. I thought of giving him a hug but there was no chance and I was too shy to do that, that reminds me of hugging Frankie on the night he sent me home.. well, I drank too much and had more than enough courage that night.. well, so, I told sissie to give him a hug and thank God she did and I am happy that God used sissie to do this for me. I hope that somehow ease the bitterness and sadness he has right now. 

I lost my maternal grandma in year 2009, and that year, I was being invited to church by Fred C. and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. I hope, Lord, Your presence gave JH the same peace, and open his eyes, ears and heart to you, in no time. Amen. And I lost my beloved earthly daddy in year 2014 and paternal grandma in 2016, I can relate to his feeling, somehow. A hug is the best medicine to me, I hope it helps him too. 

As Lord, I pray for sissie, Lord, You love her and You will prosper her way in Singapore. Amen!