Elf's: Birthday

Today, the Countdown apps on my iPhone reminded me that it's one month to go to my birthday, my 34th birthday!

34th birthday... it's going to be my first birthday without my beloved dad. Not sure if I want to have any celebration... Even for the Father's Day this year, not sure how we are going to go through it...

As I remember, dad was first hospitalised last year on Father's Day... JR was the one who reminded me when I told him that my dad was hospitalised. How ironic, right?

We were chit-chatting last night and was once again talked about dad and his life. Tears filled up all our eyes... and I know, we all miss dad dearly... But we also knew what happened to dad was the best from the Lord. At least he left us with a smile on his face and he did not suffer the pains that we saw like others cancer patients.

Lord, I really hate cancer... really really hate cancer... please heal all the cancer patients and destroy this ugly and suffering disease from the world... In Jesus' name. Amen!

Anyway, tomorrow, am going to attend tNCC with mom. It'll be the first time my mom attends a Sunday service. Am excited for her and pray that she will feel the touch of Jesus and will accept Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. Amen and amen! Will be celebrating Mother's Day with mom and aunt tomorrow as well. A small celebration before next Sunday on the exact Mother's Day with the other mommies and also grandma. Also, the first Mother's Day without dad...

FMF: Send

Hmmmm... what's with Send?

It's a total blank in my mind, nothing can be thought of right now, anything that can be related to this word.

Alright, I would like to send a kiss to my dad who is now in heaven, to tell him how much I miss him, and yes, I regretted so much not to follow my heart on the day I traveled back to Sg with my aunt and cousin. I should have stayed for him, but I thought I was being too negative on his condition and choose to go with a heavy heart. I'm sorry dad. I should have resigned earlier and back to spend more time with you, I know how much you love and miss me, but, I am just too selfish. I'm sorry dad.

Elf's: Letter To Dad

Dear Dad,

It has been 14 days, since you left us, and went to heaven to be with our Lord...

I miss you dad... I tried to be tough for mom and sis, but deep in my heart, I am still crying... very hard...

It really hard to accept the fact that you are no longer with us, it is so unreal... So difficult for me to accept the truth that you left us without me being by your side. I guess, it's the way you show your love for me, too. You know me so well that I cannot afford to see you leaving us, I just cannot.

Thanks for appearing in my dream before you left, I will always remember your last words for me, I will arrange everything properly, I will take care of mom and both sis, I will try my best not to quarrel with all of them...

I love you dad, always...

Till we meet in heaven again!


Lots of love,
Li Fang, your beloved first born daughter

Elf's: Thanksgiving Week

With 2014 coming to the end, in less than 30 minutes, and church also has celebrated our own custom of Thanksgiving on the last Sunday of the year, so, this week shall be a thanksgiving week.

Well, it is indeed a year full of darkness, with major world chaotic of one after another aviation accidents, war after war, Ebola outbreaks, to my own father's health issue. It is very dark for me and my family.

Received the bad news on the very last day of 2014, my dad went home to be with the Lord at 1.55pm, with a smile on his face.

Daddy God, thank You that my dad is with you now, completely healed and healthy now.

爸爸，我们天堂见！

Dad: Day 31

Today we went to physiological & occupational therapy and follow up visit with doctor. The neuro surgeon said that my dad's condition is good and shld be able to go for radiation therapy. But need to see the neuro surgeon first that in charged for my dad's surgery. I believe this is also favor that our Lord have for my dad. 

Mom and sis are worried if my dad cannot endure the radiation therapy. And they are more concerned of the quality of his life. So do I. So, hopefully the radiation therapy is going to extend his life span and increase his life quality as well. 

I was accompanying my dad for his afternoon nap just now. He asked me to come close to him and he hugged me. I was so touched. I want him to live good and long life!

Dad: Day 29

Good news! I asked my dad if he trust in the God that I worship and he said yes. Then I asked him if he wants to make my God his God as well, and he said yes too. So, I led him to say the salvation's prayer in simple mandarin. He is a child of God now. Hallelujah!

Dad: Day 22

Update.

Called home after serving for the whole day at church, about 8.30pm.

Sis told me that dad is back at home. He doesn't like to stay there and has been making noise and even cried to be home.

Mom sounds very frustrated when we talked on the phone, and made me felt frustrated too.

I have told them that I will be going home on Monday and back to Sg on Wednesday, to see dad's condition, however, all of them think that I should arrange to go back during weekend.

Today, the whole 15@Star prayed for my dad during the debrief session, and the leaders had got Pastor Ronald to come and pray for me and my dad specifically too.

3 of our team members has blessed me with love offering, I shall not review their name as I think it is a bit sensitive, but I am very thankful to have them, it's the thought that counts. And knowing that I am so loved by them, helps me to be stronger in this hard time.

Alvin also had personally speak to me and encouraged me in all the ways.

Thank You Lord Jesus for my RSM family, may they be richly blessed back for what they have blessed me and my family with. Thank You Lord for loving so much! Hallelujah!

As Jesus is, so is my dad in this world. By His stripes, my dad is healed! Amen! Amen!

Dad: Day 21

It's confirmed, and done.

Dad will be staying at Attia Nursing Care Centre, located at Batu 3 Jalan Ipoh, with a monthly fee @ RM2,000.00

I just could not hold my tears when I saw him thru the video call sis made to me.

Lord, if this is a better way for all of us, then give us Your shalom peace while dad is not at home with the family. Amen.

Dad: Day 20

My dad went for the brain tumor surgery on 01 November 2014 at UMSC (University Malaya Specialist Centre) by Prof Vicky. He was recommended by my dear friend - MY, as her sister's friend did a brain tumor surgery by the same doctor and found that he is good. 

Today, marks the 3rd week after his surgery, and he has been discharged since Wednesday.

Dad is having the post surgery syndrome at home. Low appetite, suicidal thoughts, depression, hallucination, bad temper, insomnia...

Sis and mom are frustrated towards his attitude now. All of us are so helpless and we need professional helps for sure.

Lord, HELP!

Healthcare: Post Surgery Care

A good read, hope it's not too late to read this for dad's post surgery care.

20 Things You Can Expect After Brain Surgery!

Daddy: Updates

I am in the hospital now, accompanying dad.

He was supposed to go for the brain surgery this morning, but due to no icu room available, his surgery has been postponed. 

Doctor just came in and spoke to him for awhile, and told us that once the appointment for the surgery is fixed, then dad can be discharged today. 

God's timing is always the perfect timing. Dad is definitely in good hands. So many beloveds are praying for him. And our Lord Jesus Christ is saying that he is healed too during the last midweek service thru the mouth of Pastor Prince.

Lord, I don't know why is this postpone happened. But Lord, I know, Your timing is surely the best timing. If You allow the postpone, I know, we all know, it's for better arrangement. Thank You Lord! 

Playing Still Water for dad as he finds peace while listening to the melody from this cd. And hopefully he can feels God's love for him and His perfect love will cast the fear out from him. 

All shall be well. In Jesus' name. Amen!