Elf's: Feeling vs Reality

有时候， 有时候

我会相信一切有尽头

相聚，离开，都有时候

没有什么会永垂不朽

可是我，有时候

宁愿选择留恋，不放手

等到风景都看透

也许你会陪我看细水长流

Heard this song from an album playlist on Spotify just now while walking home from MRT, had a strong feeling about the lyrics of the chorus... what if I never give up, will there be a change?

But God is good, as I am typing and asking myself all the "what if" question, the Holy Spirit reminded me on my favourite bible verse.

He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecclesiastes 3:11

How lovely is this reminder... Thank You ABBA!

There is no what if, only surely, in God's promises for me, His beloved. Hallelujah!!!

Oh how beautiful Your love for me

Oh how wonderful Your grace unending

How beautiful and wonderful His love and grace for me, and it's never ending... ♥

Elf's: Final Decision?

It's been so long, I have not penned down any thoughts, even posted any picture here, like I have shut myself off...

I was busy, so busy with works and overtimes for extra income. I had made my life as if it all about the money only. I fell sick a few times in November, I got depressed, and demotivated to go to work. I am home sick, miss mom and Sannie at home, Laney, Mandee and baby Nana at Southend, and dad, in heaven.

Getting emotional, yes, for sure, especially in festive season. More than 10 times I haven thinking when should I tender and go back for good again. But, will I get to do things that will make me happy? Or will it be the same again? Will I miss Singapore again this time after I leave? Honestly, I think this time, I am ready to leave this little red dot.

I think, I have missed out too many things ever since I started to work abroad, since 2006. Missed the time to spent with my dad before he went home to heaven, that's about 10 years or time. This year, since I came back, I missed time for grandma, and I didn't even get to visit her in July when I came back from London. I took things for granted, and she left us in September when I am not prepared at all. I missed the moment of Sannie's first born, missed the full moon celebration, gonna missed the 100 days celebrations too on 01 January 2017. And many more things that I have and going to miss... Next year, will be my first time not able to celebrate Chinese New Year eve and first day of Chinese New Year at home, all thanks to this job.

I don't know how some of the people can work like 15 years in a call center, to me, 1 year is more than enough. The pay is not too big if you don't work for overtime. But you gotta sacrifice your off and rest day to work, and that, will in conjunction of sacrificing your health for body and soul. I truly believe that we are made by God to learn to rest in Him, but the busyness and stress I got from my job has totally robbed me of my rest and peace. It even draw me further from God, I don't attend church, because I am scheduled to work on Sunday, and because I am too lazy and tired to wake up early for church then go to work in the afternoon.

All these are so wrong! The reason why I am so eagerly and keen to come back to Singapore is because I miss my church life in ncc. But ever since I started my shift work, everything just changed. I felt so stressed when being asked by fellow ministries servers and leaders, when will I be back to serve. I love to, to be honest, but I just can't.

And so, I brought up my feeling and thoughts to Laney, Sannie and mom, that I am gonna resign, probably next year after Chinese New Year, and go home for good. Thank God, that they are very understanding and supportive for my decision. If everything goes smooth, I should be tendering in February.

And Lord, I pray, that You open the door to the path that You have prepared for me, and closed those that are not meant for me. Amen.

Elf's: The Dark Night of The Soul

It's truly the season of dark night for my soul now...

Have been facing challenges at work, not so much with skills or product knowledge, but with the environment and people there.

So many negative things I saw and felt but I chose to be optimistic, since day one I joined this company. But recently, I felt completely disrespect by my manager when I apologised for a mistake that I made. Honestly, I can't just let go the feeling. Although I am a new staff, but I do believe in mutual respect for one another. Even though between the CEO and the cleaner. However, the longer I work with my team, the more I see and feel. The leaders are always act according to their mood. Good mood, good treatment, bad mood, that's it. They will talk softly still, but sarcastically, and other might not even know what did they say. And so, we have to swallow their vomits on us. I really dislike it, I hate it!

O Lord, help me!

I am thinking of changing job, and praying for the right door to open. Perhaps, I should go to London and try working there for a short period? Or return to Malaysia and start the online business seriously? Lord, which way Lord? Where do I go from here? I am lost, Lord...

Elf's: Blessed Birthday Pastor Prince

Managed to attend 3rd service today at ncc and didn't expect that Pastor Price will be the preacher today as today is his '35th' birthday and I was told that he will be off on this Sunday. But God is good, I got Pastor Prince's preaching, teaching and blessings on his birthday, how privileged, precious and wonderful! Praise the Lord! 

May our good Lord blesses Pastor Prince more and more as he grows younger and younger in Him. Amen!

Today's sermon was about faith, and thank you Pastor Prince for the preaching and teaching today as it reminds me on something I thought I know but yet, I have almost forgotten about it. PREACH IT PASTOR! 

Song: Hillsong - Love On The Line

Sang this song today at church, led by my fav worship leader - Adeline G.

Blessed by the song so much that I must share it here.

Here's the words of the song:

You put Your love on the line

To bear the weight of sin that was mine

Washing my river of wrongs

Into the sea of Your infinite love

With arms held high

Lord I give my life

Knowing I'm found in Christ

In Your love forever

With all I am

In Your grace I stand

The greatest of all romance

Love of God my Saviour

Mercy roars like hurricane winds

Furious love laid waste to my sin

With arms held high

Lord I give my life

Knowing I'm found in Christ

In Your love forever

With all I am

In Your grace I stand

The greatest of all romance

Love of God my Saviour

To the One who has rescued my soul

To the One who welcomed me home

To the One who is Saviour of all

I sing forever

It's a great reminder that was being sang and preached in church today, for me. 

It's not about me, but Christ who died for me. It's His love for me that I am who I am now. 

Who I am? I am the beloved of my Lord Jesus Christ. I am the disciple whom Jesus loves. 

I love, because He first loved me. 

Thank You Lord, for everything. Amen. 

1 John 4:19

TDM: Day 6

It's Monday! First day of June, first working day of the week...

Today we finally wrapped up the module one, and also it's so close to Wednesday & Thursday for the assessments...

Actually, I am not anxious for the assessment, this is definitely unusual for the people of the world, but, I am in the world but not of the world. As Jesus is, so am I in this world. Jesus is the Prince of peace, and He never feel anxious, so am I.

Today, I was locked by my locker. It happened to me once when I was serving in church. I miss ncc, so much!

Looking forward to a better tomorrow!

TDM: Day 4

Today, another day of overloaded job knowledge...

We got to chit chat with our trainer from SG - Ms Janet, and she said the way I talk is a little bit like the Singaporean. 

Qual and requal is a bit tricky and complicated in a way, but it fun to learn, and I am still excited to learn more and more...

I am down with a blocked-nose, been sneezing non-stop just now for about 10 times... O Lord! Heal me, in Jesus' name. Amen!

TDM: Day 3

Today, we learnt really a lot.. overload with job knowledge, literally...

The different tiers of KF & PPS program, the qualification, benefits and privileges...

But, I am excited to learn more.. and I thank God for the wisdom He gave me and make me a quick and fast learner. I asked 2 questions today, which is something I don't usually do. Haha!

Lord, thank You for surrounding me with this bunch of fun people, as well as the super patient and soft-spoken trainers.

We were instructed to submit 5 names as our call name to for TDS to check on the availability and we will use the name as our call name when we are on the call floor. I have submitted the below:

1. Evelyn
2. Zoé 
3. Lay Fun
4. Eve
5. Charis

My original choice for the 5th one was Evelyn Zoé, but Hani said that it's too long, so, I decided to change it to Charis, which means Grace in greek. Cool, right? Hopefully Zoé is still available, coz I doubt that Evelyn will be available call name for me. If Zoé is not available, then I hope Charis is. :) 

TDM: First day at work

Yes, I am officially a CSR (Customer Service Representative) for Singapore Airlines Krisflyer Contact Centre!

First day at work... nothing much, mostly introducing ourselves, and ice-breakers from both HR & the very handsome trainer - Mr Sreevaasan.

Learnt many valuables knowledge today about customer service, the do's and don't, and most of all, the 10 Golden Rules as a CSR.

1. Smile
2. Your Language
3. Body Language
4. Positive Speaking
5. Control
6. Confidence
7. Listening
8. Courtesy
9. Personalization
10. Providing Alternatives

At the end of the day, we had a small assessment for what we learnt, and I scored 95%, with one question answered wrongly. Well, I hope to score full marks, but 95% is not bad too, right? 

Tomorrow will be starting our first module training, and our trainer will be Lok Lim. So looking forward to it... Thank You Lord! 

Elf's: One more week to go...

Yes, time flies... and my training for the new job will be starting in less than a week now.

Am pretty excited and yet anxious... have not been working for about 3 months now, and to think of the big group of new colleagues, the trainer as well as the upper level in-charge.... Phew~! 

I was once again be reminded of the Bible verse below: 

“Let not your heart be troubled... John 14:1(a)"

Thank You Lord for such reminder... If God is for me, who can be against me? Whom shall I fear? Reminds me of Chris Tomlin's song as well. Haha! Lord, You are soooo amazing! 

I shall be at rest, not be troubled. In Jesus' name. Amen! 

Songs: 上帝早已預備 (Touch Mi Live Version) [Official] [官方]

很棒的舞台，很玄的妆容，很美的合音，很真的演唱！所有的荣耀归于主耶稣一人！

上帝早已預備

作曲：陸偉峰/Phat@24 Herbs

填詞：陸偉峰

就算我可得到世間的財寶

但你卻說要我知道 是永生的道路

是我在罪人時你賜我中保

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣
即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

感謝你 你會為我打氣

感謝你 從谷底將我救起

感謝你 縱使失去我的真理

但我沒有忘記

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 只少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死 

難得你為我死

Elf's: Life...

Have not pen down what's happening around me for quite some time...

I have been thinking a lot... many thoughts are running on my mind, not just recently, but always...

Maybe I should record down my life after returned to KL for more than a month now.

Family:
Trying my very best to adapt the lifestyle my sis and mom are living, it's not as easy. Perhaps, I have been too used to living by myself. Although I was staying with aunt for the past 10 years in SG, but, I was mostly on my own, and I don't need to mingle with them, if I don't want to. But now, with my very closest one, my mom and sis, I simply can't live like that anymore, they won't let me too, if I want... Lol~! Our vacation to Thailand had been fun yet challenging for me... Thank God that all is well!

Work:
I have turned down the offer from Sonata, because of some unreasonable terms and conditions stated in their letter offer to me. Since then, I have started to look for other jobs again from Jobstreet. There were 2 agencies and one company HR called me up ONLY. (looks like it's not easy to get a job, and sometimes I wondered if I made the wrong decision to reject the first offer that I got.) Anyway, there were 2 interviews arranged, I only made it for the very first one, with Teledirect, as a CS for SIA KrisFlyer program. Went for the second interview too 3 days after the first interview, went through different tests, such like English grammar test, essay, problem solving, typing speed, listening test, role play... And I finally got the job offer on last Friday, about 3 weeks after the interviews as well as call reference to my ex supervisor. Phew~~! It's something new to me, shift work, big team, big organization, and 2-3 months of training before starting the job. New life, new beginning! Praise Jesus!

Church:
I have not attend to any of the local church service thus far... Not sure which one I should go, I miss nccsg! Miss my fellow ministries' servers, miss the venue, miss Pastor Prince... Can I still get a New Creation Church in KL? Guide me, Lord...

Friends:
So far, been meeting up with CY and SY quite often... met KL, YT & CY for once only. MY was too busy tied up by her balloon business, hence, can't meet up with us for dinner on the other night, but it's okay, we shall meet up again. Other than them, I have not been meeting up with anyone in KL.

I made a trip to SG last week with CY and SY, to take my remaining belongings back to KL, with CY driving. Met up with CN, on Saturday night for dinner, then JD & PS on Sunday morning to attend church service together, most of the WWJD team for lunch, AT, NL, QH, JL & JO for coffee at Jamaica Blue, and last but not least, dinner with RT at Brotziet. It was a fruitful trip for me, to be able to attend church at nccsg again, and to meet up so many of friends that are close to me. Thank You Jesus, for delighting me with the desire of my heart.

Was not able to meet up JR, as he was busy with work, that's the only regret for that trip.

Overall, it's just the beginning of my stay in KL, I should not be making any conclusions yet. And I believe I should do my best, live my best, enjoy my moment here with my beloved family members, and God will continue to direct my step to the life He has prepared for me. Amen!

Songs: Forgiven Much

This is yet another of my favourite worship song from my church... Enjoy and be blessed! We are indeed forgiven much because of our Lord, Jesus Christ...

Forgiven Much

Copyright 2011 New Creation Church Singapore

Jesus, You are my King, You're my King

Lamb of God, You're my sin offering

There is none who would die for my gain

You alone made this selfless exchange

I declare You're my God, You're my God

You've removed all my fears, all my doubts

At the cross, there Your will is revealed

Every sickness and pain You have healed

Lord I call on Your name, on Your name

You've removed all my sins, all my shame

By Your grace, in Your arms I am found

Dearly loved and with goodness I'm crowned

For Your love will never fail

Your love will never fail

Now and evermore I say, You are my righteousness

My life is in Your hands, in Your hands

Now and evermore I say, I am forgiven much

Your mercy knows no end, knows no end (it knows no end)

Songs: Finished

Blessed Resurrection Sunday!

I did not get to attend any church service today, for the first time, since 2010...

I miss serving with the worship team, have been involved with Resurrection Sunday service for the past 2 years with ncc choir, it was really an unforgettable memories, with the team members and leaders of different ministries. From own practice, choir practice, rehearsal with the worship team, until Sunday services.

This year, ncc is giving out a song to be downloaded online, as a sneak preview of the upcoming worship album that will be launched on 26 April 2015. The song title is Finished, written by the youth of the church.

Finished

Copyright 2014 New Creation Church Singapore

Surely as the dawn awakes

Your love for me will never fade

Relentless love pursued my soul

Till condemnation lost its hold

You took my sin

The just for the unjust

You made me Yours

Through Your redeeming blood

No other works can qualify

You paid in full salvation's price

I'm given life by nail-scarred hands

To worship You with all I am

You took my sin

The just for the unjust

You made me Yours

Through Your redeeming blood

Conquered death

Reversing every curse

You broke the chains

You tore the veil

Glorious King

The name above all names

You paid in full

You rose to reign

Everything gained I count loss

In the light of the cross

Every demand made You paid

With the stripes that You bore

You are all I need

You are all I need

Songs: Restore

Here's another song from ncc, I believe it is written based on the church theme of the year - The Year of His Restoration!

Not sure who written this song. And surprisingly, many of us when we first heard of this song, we actually don't really like it.. however, it just gets better and nicer as we sing this to ourselves during practices and p&w session on stage and at church. 

I also believe that this is a word and a promise that the Lord is giving to me for this coming years... His restoration will be done in my life. Thank You Jesus! Thank You Daddy God! Hallelujah!

Restore

Copyright 2015 New Creation Church Singapore

Eternal one, Your love has won 

My salvation 

Restore my days, the wasted years

My Redeemer

Our spirits soar, our youth renewed 

As we wait on You 

For what was lost, Your grace will pour 

You give so much more 

Restore us! 

Darkness turns to light You are light 

You draw us! Closer to Your side To your side

The prodigal, embraced in love By the Father 

In You I rest, my heart confess You’re my Shepherd 

Our spirits soar, our youth renewed 

As we wait on You 

For what was lost, Your grace will pour 

You give so much more 

Restore us! 

Darkness turns to light You are light 

You draw us! Closer to Your side To your side

Hope comes alive in You , Jesus, Lord Jesus 

Closer, draw near to You, Jesus, Lord Jesus 

FMF: Open

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

SONGWRITERS

PAUL JOSEPH BALOCHE

Elf's: Heart's Day

Happy Heart's Day!

Will be going for a 2 days 1 night trip at Batam with Jus, Ben, KM & ZK.

Really looking forward for a restful trip with them all.

A good reading from incourage writter Karina, about God's love, His Love For You

Songs: Anthem of Grace

Okay, I don't know why, but I did not post this fav song of mine, written by my anointed crush... :p

We were singing this song during the live recording of our church album last night. 

Anthem of Grace

Copyright 2014 New Creation Church Singapore

I believe in the hope that's so secure

In Your love there is no fear

Salvation is sure

I believe on the cross You took my pain

All my sins are washed away

Forgiven and free

And now I see

As You are, so are we

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

I believe I am righteous through the One

Your obedience has won

I rest in all You've done

I believe You are everything I need

More of You and less of me

I fall at Your feet

And now I see

As You are, so are we

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

Mountains be cast down

Valleys be raised

Christ be exalted, lifted on high!

Mountains be cast down

Valleys be raised

Christ be exalted, lifted on high!

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

What a beautiful song, right? I know how to sing it, including the lyrics of this song, almost immediately after learning it for the first time with the choir team. 

I remember, when I shared this song with Ben, he told me that this song is so KC... which I totally agree. :)

Songs: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things on earth will go strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

Movie: Into The Woods

Watched this movie on Wednesday with Jus & Ben.

It was totally out of my expectation... okay, it was just me coz apparently, Ben enjoyed the movie very much and he even thanked me for introducing this movie to him.

This is, as far as I remember, the first movie that made me wanna walked out from the cinema, and also the first movie that I wish it is finished during the half way of the show.

I like musical, but this one just don't seem to fit me.

However, the 2nd half of the show, they mixed in some bible story shadow into it. Like the woman that committed adultery with the prince charming of Cinderella, she came under the law and end up, she died.

Overall, it's still acceptable and not as bad as Twilight pt 2 that made me sleep in the cinema.

Nice company has made my night better, thanks buddies!