Elf's: Feeling vs Reality

有时候， 有时候

我会相信一切有尽头

相聚，离开，都有时候

没有什么会永垂不朽

可是我，有时候

宁愿选择留恋，不放手

等到风景都看透

也许你会陪我看细水长流

Heard this song from an album playlist on Spotify just now while walking home from MRT, had a strong feeling about the lyrics of the chorus... what if I never give up, will there be a change?

But God is good, as I am typing and asking myself all the "what if" question, the Holy Spirit reminded me on my favourite bible verse.

He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecclesiastes 3:11

How lovely is this reminder... Thank You ABBA!

There is no what if, only surely, in God's promises for me, His beloved. Hallelujah!!!

Oh how beautiful Your love for me

Oh how wonderful Your grace unending

How beautiful and wonderful His love and grace for me, and it's never ending... ♥

five minute friday :: refine

The words and promises of The Lord are pure words, like silver refined in an earthen furnace, purified seven times over. ~ Psalm 12:6, AMP

I am currently on a journey to nowhere, and I can't say that I have been praying earnestly, in fact, I didn't.

But God, our ever faithful Daddy God, so loving, so patience and so faithful, my everlasting Father in heaven. He just won't let me live a life this way, and I am constantly being reminded by friends, and the Holy Spirit, to go back to His words.

The flesh are weak, but the Spirit are alive, and I am making my way back to God's words. I started my daily devotion reading, listening to Pastor Prince's sermon on my iPhone 6, praise & worship songs and musics.

I am not trying to be holy again, I am trying to be happy again, and only Him can bring true happiness to me. This, I am truly thankful for. Hallelujah!

Elf's: Final Decision?

It's been so long, I have not penned down any thoughts, even posted any picture here, like I have shut myself off...

I was busy, so busy with works and overtimes for extra income. I had made my life as if it all about the money only. I fell sick a few times in November, I got depressed, and demotivated to go to work. I am home sick, miss mom and Sannie at home, Laney, Mandee and baby Nana at Southend, and dad, in heaven.

Getting emotional, yes, for sure, especially in festive season. More than 10 times I haven thinking when should I tender and go back for good again. But, will I get to do things that will make me happy? Or will it be the same again? Will I miss Singapore again this time after I leave? Honestly, I think this time, I am ready to leave this little red dot.

I think, I have missed out too many things ever since I started to work abroad, since 2006. Missed the time to spent with my dad before he went home to heaven, that's about 10 years or time. This year, since I came back, I missed time for grandma, and I didn't even get to visit her in July when I came back from London. I took things for granted, and she left us in September when I am not prepared at all. I missed the moment of Sannie's first born, missed the full moon celebration, gonna missed the 100 days celebrations too on 01 January 2017. And many more things that I have and going to miss... Next year, will be my first time not able to celebrate Chinese New Year eve and first day of Chinese New Year at home, all thanks to this job.

I don't know how some of the people can work like 15 years in a call center, to me, 1 year is more than enough. The pay is not too big if you don't work for overtime. But you gotta sacrifice your off and rest day to work, and that, will in conjunction of sacrificing your health for body and soul. I truly believe that we are made by God to learn to rest in Him, but the busyness and stress I got from my job has totally robbed me of my rest and peace. It even draw me further from God, I don't attend church, because I am scheduled to work on Sunday, and because I am too lazy and tired to wake up early for church then go to work in the afternoon.

All these are so wrong! The reason why I am so eagerly and keen to come back to Singapore is because I miss my church life in ncc. But ever since I started my shift work, everything just changed. I felt so stressed when being asked by fellow ministries servers and leaders, when will I be back to serve. I love to, to be honest, but I just can't.

And so, I brought up my feeling and thoughts to Laney, Sannie and mom, that I am gonna resign, probably next year after Chinese New Year, and go home for good. Thank God, that they are very understanding and supportive for my decision. If everything goes smooth, I should be tendering in February.

And Lord, I pray, that You open the door to the path that You have prepared for me, and closed those that are not meant for me. Amen.

Elf's: Blessed Birthday Pastor Prince

Managed to attend 3rd service today at ncc and didn't expect that Pastor Price will be the preacher today as today is his '35th' birthday and I was told that he will be off on this Sunday. But God is good, I got Pastor Prince's preaching, teaching and blessings on his birthday, how privileged, precious and wonderful! Praise the Lord! 

May our good Lord blesses Pastor Prince more and more as he grows younger and younger in Him. Amen!

Today's sermon was about faith, and thank you Pastor Prince for the preaching and teaching today as it reminds me on something I thought I know but yet, I have almost forgotten about it. PREACH IT PASTOR! 

TDM: Day 11

Started our 3rd week of training.

First of all, congratulations to me and Tracy, for being the only two persons who scored 100% full mark on our second assessment. Kudos! Well done! 

Obviously, I am very happy! I thank Jesus for the favour and the wisdom He has given me. Thanks Janet and Hani for the revision and teachings for the past 2 weeks. 

I hope to do better for the future assessment and will be promoted as the TL in no time. 

A few of the team mates was caught using mobile phone at the call floor, browsing on others website like Google and Lelong.com other than SAA, and even charged their phone using the usb port of the PC. The IT team has sent an email to the operation manager on this issue and Hani was very angry with this bunch of students. 

We do not know who are they, and I seriously don't really care who are they. However, Adel was deeply affected as Hani mentioned that she will shuffle all the seats. I don't really mind, it's good to meet or mingle with other team mates as well. So, let's see how it goes tomorrow. 

Till then, I am going to celebrate my 100% result by attending a movie premiere screening, invited by my bff - Kai Li. 

Elf's: My150602

My 34th birthday... Bengie said I look like 27th, I can only praise God for renewing my youth and to be ageless and never grow old, but grow wiser and stronger in Him! Amen!

Received many wishes from FB, WA, SMS, from so many closed and not so-closed friends as well.

A birthday song was sang in the office before we started our training, it was so nice, I thought I won't be enjoying it, but in the end, I like it. Thank You Jesus!

Fatin gave me 2 nutella as my birthday gift, so sweet and nice of her, Adel gave me a pandan cake, coz she never prepare any gift for me, actually, I don't really need any birthday present, I literally have everything that I need, the thought is more than enough, really.

At night, mom cooked spaghetti, Sannie called Domino's pizza and PuiYee bought me a birthday cake for a small celebration at home, with only family member, my bff, called and wanted to bring me out for a piece of cake as a form of celebration, but I rejected as I need to study for tomorrow assessment. Then, I thought of inviting her to my place for the small celebration together, since she is closed to my family too.

It was a very warmth night, celebrating my 34th birthday, with mom, sis, cousin, ZJ & bff - Kaili! Thanks for all the effort you all made for me, I appreciate all of them and love all of you very much!

Thank You Jesus, for family and friends! Hallelujah!

Elf's: Birthday eve...

Honestly, I don't feel like celebrating my birthday this year, not really in the celebrating mood, mostly because of dad...

I am still feeling sad on losing my dad, but every time when I am down, the Holy Spirit reminded me that dad is at a better place now, he is with Jesus now in heaven, no other place is better than where he is now.

Thank You Lord, for loving me so much, as well as my family members.

I shall, be looking forward for the celebration tomorrow at home... as well as the gathering on coming Friday with my beloved jimuis...

TDM: Day 3

Today, we learnt really a lot.. overload with job knowledge, literally...

The different tiers of KF & PPS program, the qualification, benefits and privileges...

But, I am excited to learn more.. and I thank God for the wisdom He gave me and make me a quick and fast learner. I asked 2 questions today, which is something I don't usually do. Haha!

Lord, thank You for surrounding me with this bunch of fun people, as well as the super patient and soft-spoken trainers.

We were instructed to submit 5 names as our call name to for TDS to check on the availability and we will use the name as our call name when we are on the call floor. I have submitted the below:

1. Evelyn
2. Zoé 
3. Lay Fun
4. Eve
5. Charis

My original choice for the 5th one was Evelyn Zoé, but Hani said that it's too long, so, I decided to change it to Charis, which means Grace in greek. Cool, right? Hopefully Zoé is still available, coz I doubt that Evelyn will be available call name for me. If Zoé is not available, then I hope Charis is. :) 

Songs: 上帝早已預備 (Touch Mi Live Version) [Official] [官方]

很棒的舞台，很玄的妆容，很美的合音，很真的演唱！所有的荣耀归于主耶稣一人！

上帝早已預備

作曲：陸偉峰/Phat@24 Herbs

填詞：陸偉峰

就算我可得到世間的財寶

但你卻說要我知道 是永生的道路

是我在罪人時你賜我中保

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣
即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

感謝你 你會為我打氣

感謝你 從谷底將我救起

感謝你 縱使失去我的真理

但我沒有忘記

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 只少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死 

難得你為我死

Elf's: Life...

Have not pen down what's happening around me for quite some time...

I have been thinking a lot... many thoughts are running on my mind, not just recently, but always...

Maybe I should record down my life after returned to KL for more than a month now.

Family:
Trying my very best to adapt the lifestyle my sis and mom are living, it's not as easy. Perhaps, I have been too used to living by myself. Although I was staying with aunt for the past 10 years in SG, but, I was mostly on my own, and I don't need to mingle with them, if I don't want to. But now, with my very closest one, my mom and sis, I simply can't live like that anymore, they won't let me too, if I want... Lol~! Our vacation to Thailand had been fun yet challenging for me... Thank God that all is well!

Work:
I have turned down the offer from Sonata, because of some unreasonable terms and conditions stated in their letter offer to me. Since then, I have started to look for other jobs again from Jobstreet. There were 2 agencies and one company HR called me up ONLY. (looks like it's not easy to get a job, and sometimes I wondered if I made the wrong decision to reject the first offer that I got.) Anyway, there were 2 interviews arranged, I only made it for the very first one, with Teledirect, as a CS for SIA KrisFlyer program. Went for the second interview too 3 days after the first interview, went through different tests, such like English grammar test, essay, problem solving, typing speed, listening test, role play... And I finally got the job offer on last Friday, about 3 weeks after the interviews as well as call reference to my ex supervisor. Phew~~! It's something new to me, shift work, big team, big organization, and 2-3 months of training before starting the job. New life, new beginning! Praise Jesus!

Church:
I have not attend to any of the local church service thus far... Not sure which one I should go, I miss nccsg! Miss my fellow ministries' servers, miss the venue, miss Pastor Prince... Can I still get a New Creation Church in KL? Guide me, Lord...

Friends:
So far, been meeting up with CY and SY quite often... met KL, YT & CY for once only. MY was too busy tied up by her balloon business, hence, can't meet up with us for dinner on the other night, but it's okay, we shall meet up again. Other than them, I have not been meeting up with anyone in KL.

I made a trip to SG last week with CY and SY, to take my remaining belongings back to KL, with CY driving. Met up with CN, on Saturday night for dinner, then JD & PS on Sunday morning to attend church service together, most of the WWJD team for lunch, AT, NL, QH, JL & JO for coffee at Jamaica Blue, and last but not least, dinner with RT at Brotziet. It was a fruitful trip for me, to be able to attend church at nccsg again, and to meet up so many of friends that are close to me. Thank You Jesus, for delighting me with the desire of my heart.

Was not able to meet up JR, as he was busy with work, that's the only regret for that trip.

Overall, it's just the beginning of my stay in KL, I should not be making any conclusions yet. And I believe I should do my best, live my best, enjoy my moment here with my beloved family members, and God will continue to direct my step to the life He has prepared for me. Amen!

Dad: Day 22

Update.

Called home after serving for the whole day at church, about 8.30pm.

Sis told me that dad is back at home. He doesn't like to stay there and has been making noise and even cried to be home.

Mom sounds very frustrated when we talked on the phone, and made me felt frustrated too.

I have told them that I will be going home on Monday and back to Sg on Wednesday, to see dad's condition, however, all of them think that I should arrange to go back during weekend.

Today, the whole 15@Star prayed for my dad during the debrief session, and the leaders had got Pastor Ronald to come and pray for me and my dad specifically too.

3 of our team members has blessed me with love offering, I shall not review their name as I think it is a bit sensitive, but I am very thankful to have them, it's the thought that counts. And knowing that I am so loved by them, helps me to be stronger in this hard time.

Alvin also had personally speak to me and encouraged me in all the ways.

Thank You Lord Jesus for my RSM family, may they be richly blessed back for what they have blessed me and my family with. Thank You Lord for loving so much! Hallelujah!

As Jesus is, so is my dad in this world. By His stripes, my dad is healed! Amen! Amen!