Elf's: Feeling vs Reality

有时候， 有时候

我会相信一切有尽头

相聚，离开，都有时候

没有什么会永垂不朽

可是我，有时候

宁愿选择留恋，不放手

等到风景都看透

也许你会陪我看细水长流

Heard this song from an album playlist on Spotify just now while walking home from MRT, had a strong feeling about the lyrics of the chorus... what if I never give up, will there be a change?

But God is good, as I am typing and asking myself all the "what if" question, the Holy Spirit reminded me on my favourite bible verse.

He has made everything beautiful in its time... Ecclesiastes 3:11

How lovely is this reminder... Thank You ABBA!

There is no what if, only surely, in God's promises for me, His beloved. Hallelujah!!!

Oh how beautiful Your love for me

Oh how wonderful Your grace unending

How beautiful and wonderful His love and grace for me, and it's never ending... ♥

Elf's: Final Decision?

It's been so long, I have not penned down any thoughts, even posted any picture here, like I have shut myself off...

I was busy, so busy with works and overtimes for extra income. I had made my life as if it all about the money only. I fell sick a few times in November, I got depressed, and demotivated to go to work. I am home sick, miss mom and Sannie at home, Laney, Mandee and baby Nana at Southend, and dad, in heaven.

Getting emotional, yes, for sure, especially in festive season. More than 10 times I haven thinking when should I tender and go back for good again. But, will I get to do things that will make me happy? Or will it be the same again? Will I miss Singapore again this time after I leave? Honestly, I think this time, I am ready to leave this little red dot.

I think, I have missed out too many things ever since I started to work abroad, since 2006. Missed the time to spent with my dad before he went home to heaven, that's about 10 years or time. This year, since I came back, I missed time for grandma, and I didn't even get to visit her in July when I came back from London. I took things for granted, and she left us in September when I am not prepared at all. I missed the moment of Sannie's first born, missed the full moon celebration, gonna missed the 100 days celebrations too on 01 January 2017. And many more things that I have and going to miss... Next year, will be my first time not able to celebrate Chinese New Year eve and first day of Chinese New Year at home, all thanks to this job.

I don't know how some of the people can work like 15 years in a call center, to me, 1 year is more than enough. The pay is not too big if you don't work for overtime. But you gotta sacrifice your off and rest day to work, and that, will in conjunction of sacrificing your health for body and soul. I truly believe that we are made by God to learn to rest in Him, but the busyness and stress I got from my job has totally robbed me of my rest and peace. It even draw me further from God, I don't attend church, because I am scheduled to work on Sunday, and because I am too lazy and tired to wake up early for church then go to work in the afternoon.

All these are so wrong! The reason why I am so eagerly and keen to come back to Singapore is because I miss my church life in ncc. But ever since I started my shift work, everything just changed. I felt so stressed when being asked by fellow ministries servers and leaders, when will I be back to serve. I love to, to be honest, but I just can't.

And so, I brought up my feeling and thoughts to Laney, Sannie and mom, that I am gonna resign, probably next year after Chinese New Year, and go home for good. Thank God, that they are very understanding and supportive for my decision. If everything goes smooth, I should be tendering in February.

And Lord, I pray, that You open the door to the path that You have prepared for me, and closed those that are not meant for me. Amen.

Song: Hillsong - Love On The Line

Sang this song today at church, led by my fav worship leader - Adeline G.

Blessed by the song so much that I must share it here.

Here's the words of the song:

You put Your love on the line

To bear the weight of sin that was mine

Washing my river of wrongs

Into the sea of Your infinite love

With arms held high

Lord I give my life

Knowing I'm found in Christ

In Your love forever

With all I am

In Your grace I stand

The greatest of all romance

Love of God my Saviour

Mercy roars like hurricane winds

Furious love laid waste to my sin

With arms held high

Lord I give my life

Knowing I'm found in Christ

In Your love forever

With all I am

In Your grace I stand

The greatest of all romance

Love of God my Saviour

To the One who has rescued my soul

To the One who welcomed me home

To the One who is Saviour of all

I sing forever

It's a great reminder that was being sang and preached in church today, for me. 

It's not about me, but Christ who died for me. It's His love for me that I am who I am now. 

Who I am? I am the beloved of my Lord Jesus Christ. I am the disciple whom Jesus loves. 

I love, because He first loved me. 

Thank You Lord, for everything. Amen. 

1 John 4:19

TDM: Day 5

Phew!~ Finally, the end of the week... Still down with blocked nose, and super sleepy in the class today, sometimes I zone-out... and I yawned many times today since the start of the day...

We learnt about RMC and some MARMS too today... Can't really recall the class today, but I am sure I understand them all.

Had my dinner with Adel as no dinner at home again, we talked a lot and get to know each other better in many ways. Lord, thank You for another kingdom friendship. Thank You for being in the midst of our friendship and continue to let this friendship blossom... In Jesus' name. Amen!

Songs: 上帝早已預備 (Touch Mi Live Version) [Official] [官方]

很棒的舞台，很玄的妆容，很美的合音，很真的演唱！所有的荣耀归于主耶稣一人！

上帝早已預備

作曲：陸偉峰/Phat@24 Herbs

填詞：陸偉峰

就算我可得到世間的財寶

但你卻說要我知道 是永生的道路

是我在罪人時你賜我中保

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

就算我可得到今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱 在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主哪怕會迷路 

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣
即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 至少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死

感謝你 你會為我打氣

感謝你 從谷底將我救起

感謝你 縱使失去我的真理

但我沒有忘記

上帝早已預備 我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚 但卻不是你預期

上帝早已預備 只少我不被遺棄

難得你為我死 

難得你為我死

Songs: Forgiven Much

This is yet another of my favourite worship song from my church... Enjoy and be blessed! We are indeed forgiven much because of our Lord, Jesus Christ...

Forgiven Much

Copyright 2011 New Creation Church Singapore

Jesus, You are my King, You're my King

Lamb of God, You're my sin offering

There is none who would die for my gain

You alone made this selfless exchange

I declare You're my God, You're my God

You've removed all my fears, all my doubts

At the cross, there Your will is revealed

Every sickness and pain You have healed

Lord I call on Your name, on Your name

You've removed all my sins, all my shame

By Your grace, in Your arms I am found

Dearly loved and with goodness I'm crowned

For Your love will never fail

Your love will never fail

Now and evermore I say, You are my righteousness

My life is in Your hands, in Your hands

Now and evermore I say, I am forgiven much

Your mercy knows no end, knows no end (it knows no end)

Songs: Anthem of Grace

Okay, I don't know why, but I did not post this fav song of mine, written by my anointed crush... :p

We were singing this song during the live recording of our church album last night. 

Anthem of Grace

Copyright 2014 New Creation Church Singapore

I believe in the hope that's so secure

In Your love there is no fear

Salvation is sure

I believe on the cross You took my pain

All my sins are washed away

Forgiven and free

And now I see

As You are, so are we

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

I believe I am righteous through the One

Your obedience has won

I rest in all You've done

I believe You are everything I need

More of You and less of me

I fall at Your feet

And now I see

As You are, so are we

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

Mountains be cast down

Valleys be raised

Christ be exalted, lifted on high!

Mountains be cast down

Valleys be raised

Christ be exalted, lifted on high!

Let my life resound Your praise

As an anthem of Your grace

There is power in Your name

Hallelujah! Jesus You reign

What a beautiful song, right? I know how to sing it, including the lyrics of this song, almost immediately after learning it for the first time with the choir team. 

I remember, when I shared this song with Ben, he told me that this song is so KC... which I totally agree. :)

Dad: Day 22

Update.

Called home after serving for the whole day at church, about 8.30pm.

Sis told me that dad is back at home. He doesn't like to stay there and has been making noise and even cried to be home.

Mom sounds very frustrated when we talked on the phone, and made me felt frustrated too.

I have told them that I will be going home on Monday and back to Sg on Wednesday, to see dad's condition, however, all of them think that I should arrange to go back during weekend.

Today, the whole 15@Star prayed for my dad during the debrief session, and the leaders had got Pastor Ronald to come and pray for me and my dad specifically too.

3 of our team members has blessed me with love offering, I shall not review their name as I think it is a bit sensitive, but I am very thankful to have them, it's the thought that counts. And knowing that I am so loved by them, helps me to be stronger in this hard time.

Alvin also had personally speak to me and encouraged me in all the ways.

Thank You Lord Jesus for my RSM family, may they be richly blessed back for what they have blessed me and my family with. Thank You Lord for loving so much! Hallelujah!

As Jesus is, so is my dad in this world. By His stripes, my dad is healed! Amen! Amen!

Elf's: Undeserved, Unearned, Unmerited Favour ~ GRACE!

It was supposed to be a super awesome and blessed Sunday full of pre-arranged programs.

I was supposed to wake up at 3.45am in order to be able to report for choir service on time, which is 7.00am at The Star, but I ended up woke up at 6.25am, which is about 3 hours of overslept. Don't ask me how can this happened, as until now, I am still yet to figure it out. They said it's God's will for me to rest and sleep longer. Well, I do not wanna blame it on God's will, but, I guess I should not blame nor condemn myself neither. 

We got corrected by our choir director on Tuesday before the choir practice started. She was very disappointed by the punctuality of our team, be it during practice, or on Sunday service itself. Although I am usually there early or on time, I do not take her corrections for granted, coz I think choir is not about individual, but teamwork. So, on Saturday night, I rejected all the invitations for games and dinner from Team 15, and just stayed home to practice the 2 new songs and one special feature item for choir, and got on bed pretty early and sleep with playing Pastor's song in my background. However, it's never my plan to wake up so much later than what I have already planned. 

I was so panic and really didn't know what I should do, and I text-ed my leader to ask for her opinion and also report to her about my situation here. Thank God for understanding and gracious leader, and she did not condemn me and gave me the green light to come to serve at 2nd service instead. So, I started to prepare myself - wash myself, anoint myself and put on my choir garments and makeup and off I go. 

While I was preparing myself, sis send me a text via WeChat and told me that dad is having a headache. I was worried, but she did not update me much until later of the day, she told me that this is unusual for dad, and so, I have advised her to observe dad's condition and see if there is a need to send to private hospital.

So, I bumped into Jessie and Paul when I arrived at Star as they just ended their first service, and I could not control myself but cried in front of Jessie, they thought I was condemned because of I was late for first service. Well, I do feel guilty for that, but what really got me was my dad's condition, and I felt so loved that Daddy God sent Jessie to me while I needed someone to really express my thoughts and feelings.

Second service was awesome, I was able to sing without looking at the screen for lyrics most of the time, coz I really did memorize the lyrics on Saturday. Grace Upon Grace made my tears flowed non-stop and when my tears started to flow, the camera was penning on my side... I hope it was not penning on me at all. You Are My All In All is the special feature for choir, and we did it so well, received many compliments from the leaders, praise Jesus, and Alex is a very good conductor! Kudos!

photo session with Ada and Priss

Our most beloved, blessed and anointed Senior Pastor - Pastor Joseph Prince

Ada and I went for a brunch at sixty40 at Rochester Mall, and it was a super long brunch, and we talked about many things and get to know each other better, in may ways. And we managed to attend 3rd service together with Nell, Jann Jann and her boy.friend - Nicholas Jin HaoLian.

Lunch @ sixty40

God is awesomely good! We had Dr Marilyn Hickey as our guest speaker at church. Dr Hickey is a 83 year-old healing evangelist and she is a great preacher as well. She has encouraged us to send a word of healing to someone that we know that needed healing. So, I tried my very best, using my lightning flash mind to translate my prayer, or rather, word of healing from English into Chinese and sent to my dad by sms. I don't know about my dad, but as for me, I am well and very much confident about God's healing for my dad. He is working in me and my family. Salvation is so near for them! Hallelujah! 

After the service, we went for late lunch at Yayoiken, and met up with Ada and Crystal at Cedele for a short catch-up before heading to Changi Airport for the planned-surprise-advance birthday celebration for Cam Cam. It was a night full of foods & laughter. We stayed at T3 until 12 plus in the morning, which is midnight, then Jann Jann  has volunteered to send me & Qwen back as we are living in the west.

The anointed artists with OverTheMoon cake decorations.

On our way back, we had a very quality talk with each other, and I believed each one of us had learnt something for the topic we were on. Praise Jesus for kingdom friends like them! I am truly blessed to have so many sincere and truthful family and friends from the body of Christ thru NCC.

Ended up, I reached home at 3am, and when I think back, the whole Sunday, was initially planned with so many different arrangement, but it was stirred up by God and made an much more awesome and blessed agendas for me, at least. All glory and praises to my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, alone. Hallelujah! 

Songs: Grace Upon Grace

Another new worship song from our worship leader - Sean Goh, this must be inspired by pastor's sermon on the waves upon waves of God's grace in October 2013. Such anointed and blessed man of God in the house, and being in the worship ministry, and considered the first batch to learn and sing the new songs for the Lord, I am truly humbled and grateful. Thank You Lord!

Grace Upon Grace

Copyright 2014 New Creation Church Singapore

Verse 1:

Lord, You reached out through time and space

You took on my sin and pain

Enduring grace collided with my shame

And made me whole again

Pre-chorus:

You were relentlessly pursuing me

Now all of my heart's surrendered to 

Chorus: 

Your grace, Your grace upon grace

Here I am, with all my fears washed away

By Your love like mighty ocean wave

Endless and free

Lord I receive

Your grace, grace upon grace

Here I stand, with my hands lifted high

Cos' You gave Your love Your life for mine

Lord I receive

Lord I receive 

Your grace

Verse 2:

Every care and fear abandoned

When I look upon Your face

Unending grace supplying every need

I see how once again

Pre-chorus:

You were relentlessly pursuing me

Now all of my heart's surrendered to

Chorus:

Your grace, Your grace upon grace

Here I am, with all my fears washed away

By Your love like mighty ocean waves

Endless and free

Lord I receive

Your grace, grace upon grace

Here I stand, with my hands lifted high

Cos' Your gave Your love Your life for mine

Lord I receive

Lord I receive

Bridge:

Lord, You have changed me from glory to glory

Crowned me with favor and mercy

Now all that's within me will cry out in worship

I stand forever amazed

Beautiful song, isn't it? All we need to do is to RECEIVE! His grace is pouring on us like the ocean waves, it will never end, it will never stop. How great is our God! 

enjoying His grace upon grace in 2010, Redang Island

For out of His fullness (abundance) we have all received [all had a share and we were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped] upon gift. (John 1:16, AMP)

Aquarium: Thank you Mermaids

I was so surprise to receive this love offering from my team mates, Pearline & of coz, my bosss!

Thank you all! Am so touched.. and this is so unexpected. 

Thank you Lord for answer prayer for financial provision for my dad's medical bill. Such underserved, unearned and unmerited favour from You alone Lord! 

It doesn't matter how much that I received, but it's your thoughts that counts and touched my heart. 

My God who is almighty shall bless each and every one of you exceedingly, abundantly, above all you can ask or even imagine. In Jesus' name. Amen and amen!

Thank You Lord! Thank you Mermaids!