Elf's: Final Decision?

It's been so long, I have not penned down any thoughts, even posted any picture here, like I have shut myself off...

I was busy, so busy with works and overtimes for extra income. I had made my life as if it all about the money only. I fell sick a few times in November, I got depressed, and demotivated to go to work. I am home sick, miss mom and Sannie at home, Laney, Mandee and baby Nana at Southend, and dad, in heaven.

Getting emotional, yes, for sure, especially in festive season. More than 10 times I haven thinking when should I tender and go back for good again. But, will I get to do things that will make me happy? Or will it be the same again? Will I miss Singapore again this time after I leave? Honestly, I think this time, I am ready to leave this little red dot.

I think, I have missed out too many things ever since I started to work abroad, since 2006. Missed the time to spent with my dad before he went home to heaven, that's about 10 years or time. This year, since I came back, I missed time for grandma, and I didn't even get to visit her in July when I came back from London. I took things for granted, and she left us in September when I am not prepared at all. I missed the moment of Sannie's first born, missed the full moon celebration, gonna missed the 100 days celebrations too on 01 January 2017. And many more things that I have and going to miss... Next year, will be my first time not able to celebrate Chinese New Year eve and first day of Chinese New Year at home, all thanks to this job.

I don't know how some of the people can work like 15 years in a call center, to me, 1 year is more than enough. The pay is not too big if you don't work for overtime. But you gotta sacrifice your off and rest day to work, and that, will in conjunction of sacrificing your health for body and soul. I truly believe that we are made by God to learn to rest in Him, but the busyness and stress I got from my job has totally robbed me of my rest and peace. It even draw me further from God, I don't attend church, because I am scheduled to work on Sunday, and because I am too lazy and tired to wake up early for church then go to work in the afternoon.

All these are so wrong! The reason why I am so eagerly and keen to come back to Singapore is because I miss my church life in ncc. But ever since I started my shift work, everything just changed. I felt so stressed when being asked by fellow ministries servers and leaders, when will I be back to serve. I love to, to be honest, but I just can't.

And so, I brought up my feeling and thoughts to Laney, Sannie and mom, that I am gonna resign, probably next year after Chinese New Year, and go home for good. Thank God, that they are very understanding and supportive for my decision. If everything goes smooth, I should be tendering in February.

And Lord, I pray, that You open the door to the path that You have prepared for me, and closed those that are not meant for me. Amen.

無言

沒想過，會再遇上他。更沒想過，他會（假裝）不認得我。

男人，從前的甜言蜜語，都只是為了得到他想要的。

再見，還不如不見。

凡事發生，都有它的定律。上帝只是在我沒有預備的時候，讓我清醒。

感謝主。阿門。

Elf's: H. U. G.

hug is a form of physical intimacy, universal in human communities, in which two or more people put their arms around the neck, back, or waist of one another and hold each other closely. If more than two persons are involved, this is informally referred to as a group hug.

- excerpt from Wikipedia-

#IAmLongingForAHug

Elf's: The Dark Night of The Soul

It's truly the season of dark night for my soul now...

Have been facing challenges at work, not so much with skills or product knowledge, but with the environment and people there.

So many negative things I saw and felt but I chose to be optimistic, since day one I joined this company. But recently, I felt completely disrespect by my manager when I apologised for a mistake that I made. Honestly, I can't just let go the feeling. Although I am a new staff, but I do believe in mutual respect for one another. Even though between the CEO and the cleaner. However, the longer I work with my team, the more I see and feel. The leaders are always act according to their mood. Good mood, good treatment, bad mood, that's it. They will talk softly still, but sarcastically, and other might not even know what did they say. And so, we have to swallow their vomits on us. I really dislike it, I hate it!

O Lord, help me!

I am thinking of changing job, and praying for the right door to open. Perhaps, I should go to London and try working there for a short period? Or return to Malaysia and start the online business seriously? Lord, which way Lord? Where do I go from here? I am lost, Lord...

Elf's: Blessed Birthday Pastor Prince

Managed to attend 3rd service today at ncc and didn't expect that Pastor Price will be the preacher today as today is his '35th' birthday and I was told that he will be off on this Sunday. But God is good, I got Pastor Prince's preaching, teaching and blessings on his birthday, how privileged, precious and wonderful! Praise the Lord! 

May our good Lord blesses Pastor Prince more and more as he grows younger and younger in Him. Amen!

Today's sermon was about faith, and thank you Pastor Prince for the preaching and teaching today as it reminds me on something I thought I know but yet, I have almost forgotten about it. PREACH IT PASTOR! 

Elf's: 藍天白雲

Elf's: Daily Devotional 19 April 2016

This is a great reminder for myself. 

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them. Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.”

Galatians 6:1-10 NLT

http://bible.com/116/gal.6.1-10.nlt

Bearing Each Other's Burdens

The body of Christ is not a place of self-sufficiency, but rather a place of interdependency. When we share each other’s troubles and problems, we are fulfilling the law of love. Our burdens should bring us together. As we allow others to help bear our burdens, we find our love and appreciation for them growing. Our weaknesses call forth others’ strengths. As we serve others, we sow the seeds of support that will bear fruit when we most need it.

Excerpt from NIV Spiritual Renewal Devotional by Steven Arterburn and Zondervan, published on YouVersion Bible.

Thank You Lord for a timely reminder. You are always on time.