Maybe the love I have for him is already too deep, and I actually want to love his wife and his daughter too. Or maybe the love I have for him is just love for a brother, a family member?
Confused, yes. Yet not so confused, because I know who has gone before me to fight this winning battle. And I also know who is in me.
It was a night full of laughters and fun until his wife asking him to meet up for lunch on Monday, which is today, after his appointment. I never thought that he would reject her and even told her that he might be meeting me for lunch.
I was like, Oh my! Can't he just say yes to his wife? And moreover, I only asked him to meet up as I need to pass him things that I bought for him, not asking to have lunch together. Why is he rejecting his wife's request? It was such an awkward situation and his wife just keep quiet and finally suggested to leave.
Honestly, I felt bad. I even texted him to tell him to have lunch with his wife and I can meet him some other day. His reason is he has already promised to me first. And he is not sure what time he can finished his task. So, what can I say?
I am trying my very best not to get involved in his family matters. Not that I wanted to forget that he is married, but I am just trying to make things simpler. He is not the type that will pour out his heart to the peole around him, so, its really better not to step in to his family matters.
Today, we had lunch at nex's Ramen Play. It was a great catch up. Sometimes I really have a feeling that we are more than just friends. Maybe lovers? Maybe siblings? I don't know. He is like my family member, always the first person that I wanna share my life with.
We both know very well that it's impossible. Good night.